15% of all your
purchases are donated
to the Grameen Foundation!
Institute of Serenity PMB 875, 713 W. Spruce, Deming, NM
Teaching Relaxation, Rest, and Renewal since 2002
Stress Perception
Fortunately, the stress reaction with its change in body chemistry and with the emotional, behavioral and cognitive changes is not prompted by a stressor automatically and necessarily.
For some, living in a busy street, for example, does not bother them at all. For others this is a big stressor forcing them to move away. Some feel easily stressed out when they have to do several things at the same time, others enjoy the busyness and hectic pace.
What makes the difference whether a given event prompts the stress reaction or not is the person’s perception of it.
Our definition of stress now is the following:
Stress = Stressor + Perception of Stressor + Stress Reaction
A stressor triggers the stress reaction only
First, if we perceive it as a threat and
Second, if we perceive our external and/or internal resources as insufficient for mastering the given situation
We are likely to perceive a stressor as a threat if
The stressor is unknown to us: You are for the first time alone in Venice; you don’t speak any Italian and you are hopelessly lost.
The stressor occurs unexpectedly: It’s Friday evening and you are looking forward to your free weekend. Then your supervisor calls telling you that she needs you to work this weekend.
The stressor is ambiguous: You are driving home at night on a lonely highway, and you know you don’t have cell phone reception. You see a car at the roadside with lights flashing and two men standing next to the car, waving to get your attention.
If we then evaluate our situation as having sufficient external and internal resources to deal with the threat, we perceive the stressor not as a threat, but as a challenge.
For example, in regard to the unknown: You are confident that it is just a matter of time until you find somebody that speaks basic English to help you.
In regard to the unexpected work: You communicate with your family effectively delegating household chores and go to the sauna to recharge your inner batteries for work on this weekend.
In regard to the ambiguous roadside situation: You take several deep breaths to calm down, you lock the doors of your car, and you proceed slowly and cautiously.
Social support system: You have friends and family members you can speak with and from whom you receive emotional and/or material support. They care for the dog when you are hospitalized. You can move in your friend’s place for a while when you wife or husband has thrown you out of the house.
Material resources: You have enough money to live on in case you lose your job or go through a divorce.
Internal resources are for example:
Optimism, positive thinking: You know that there will be a way out and that the situation will change.
High self-esteem: You do not allow your present situation to be a gauge for your competency or lack of it.
Communication skills: You are able to communicate your emotions and thoughts. You can address the problem with the person concerned in a calm and professional manner.
Endurance and self-discipline: You do not give up easily and fall into a depression or bitterness. You have a high frustration tolerance.
Relaxation skills: You know how to unwind and how to release tension. You go into the sauna, practice yoga, or another relaxation method like Autogenic Training on a regular basis.
If we evaluate the threat as exceeding our external and internal resources, the stressor prompts the stress reaction.
Clearly, having external and external resourcesdetermines how stressful our lives will be. Naturally, the internal resources are the ones over which we have more control. Your relaxation skills, for example, are in the category of internal resources. You can improve on your internal resources very quickly and easily by learning an efficient stress relief and relaxation technique like Autogenic Training.
Moreover, our various internal and external resources are interlinked. With improved relaxation skills, your self-esteem and your optimism increases. This again can improve your problem solving and communication skills. Once you are able to communicate, you can tap easily into your social support for example by expressing your feelings, needs and by asking for help.
Improved relaxation skills can be the key to improve your whole life!
Social support system: You have friends and family members you can speak with and from whom you receive emotional and/or material support. They care for the dog when you are hospitalized. You can move in your friend’s place for a while when you wife or husband has thrown you out of the house. 
Material resources: You have enough money to live on in case you lose your job or go through a divorce.
Optimism, positive thinking
High self-esteem: You do not allow your present situation to be a gauge for your competency or lack of it.
Communication skills: You are able to communicate your emotions and thoughts. You can address the problem with the person concerned in a calm and professional manner. 
Endurance and self-discipline: You do not give up easily and fall into a depression or bitterness. You have a high frustration tolerance.
Relaxation skills: You know how to unwind and how to release tension. You go into the sauna, practice yoga, or another relaxation method like Autogenic Training on a regular basis. 
